No Love Without Sacrifice
by Softrock-showtunesgirlscout22
Summary: Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness. Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State.
1. Chapter 1

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and how amazing is the acting I mean, come on, also, can I please have a husband like Henry please?**

 **I own nothing but what you might not recognize, this is just for fun regaerdig my new favorite show.**

 **Chapter 1:**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.**_

 _ **Ann Landers**_

Elizabeth woke up to the sound of indistinct chatter in the kitchen. Henry was probably making pancakes because she could almost smell the dough being battered and the girls setting up the table. She wondered why they hadn't come to wake her but then she remembered it was Saturday and they were letting her sleep in because that didn't come easy for her these days and it was a gift she was going to accept. She tried closing her eyes once more but the banter downstairs was calling for her to join Henry and the kids so she put on a robe and marched her way downstairs.

True fo their sacrated ritual on weeekends, Henry was making breakfast while the kids got candid on a discussion. "Oh hey mom."

"Sorry babe, did we wake you?" Henry asked as he kissed her softly on the lips.

"It was probably Jason because he can't keep his mouth shut." Alison said as Jason retored something at her.

"No, it wasn't you guys, I guess I just couldn't sleep anymore." Elizabeth admitted. "Anyway, guess what Noodle? I'll be able to go to your game after all..."

"At least for now." Jason said. "Unless the country starts burning or something..."

"Oh, nice... very nice buddy." Henry brushed Jason's hair as they continued with the task of making breakfast.

"No, seriously, unless I am called in, which I am praying I am not, I'll be there..."

"Want to bet?" Stevie muttered over her cup of coffee.

"I do, Fred still owes me 20 bucks for the last bet..." Jason piped in. Elizabeth shot him a look but Alison was quiet, she really didn't want to jinx it and having her mom missing the game. It was almost a rare happening these days.

There was a sudden thud coming from the living room and it was when Elizabeth heard the sound of cartoons coming from the other room. She heard the small steps of another person coming her way.

"Oh that's right I'd forgotten we had another child..." Elizabeth glanced at Henry with a grin.

"But mommy, I'm your favorite!" A little girl came rushing into the kitchen, hugging her mother. almost knocking the air out of her.

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that" Jason joked which earned a look from his little sister.

"Stop, no one is anyone's favorite..." Henry said raising his hands in defense, hoping to avoid an angurment. "Now, let's have breakfast alright."

"Yes, lets..." Elizabeth added in as she led her children to the table.

Her four children.

* * *

 _She couldn't understand how this had happened. I mean she understood the dinamycs of it all of course, she had gone trough this before. But she couldn't believe this was actually happening. She was the mother of a teenager and two young other ones. But she was in no way prepared for this to happen._

 _She was terrifed about it actually._

 _Oh god and now she had to tell Henry. She had avoided him all day at the University, and he sensed something was going on._

 _"What's wrong?" Her always intuitive husband asked. Elizabeth stared at him for a moment. Frustration all over her face, her hand on the side of her face. Sudden realization hit Henry._

 _"I''m not dying Henry..." She said quickly. He didn't relax though._

 _"Oh, you are not? Good thanks for telling me..." He huffed sacastically. "What is it that you are not telling me?" Elizabeth sighed, standing up to grab her purse from the chair besides her husband. He gave her an inquiring look.  
_

 _"Remember I told you I might have caught on whatever Jason had last week?" Henry nodded. Relieved of the fact she couldn't have anything worse than a stomach bug. "At first I thought that was it, then I opted for menopause." She laughed a little to herself. "Because of course, this had to be, or otherwise..."_

 _"Wait, what?" Henry glanced at the box his wife was holding._

 _"I haven't taken it. God, I don't think I even remember how to... But I was so scared of doing it without you..." She admitted, a certain vulnerability showing in her voice, one that was apparently mostly saved for him. "So, let's just do this so I know I am not losing my mind" It wasn't a question._

 _Henry was speechless as he followed her to the bathroom._

 _A moment later they were waiting for the results, Henry making some remark about how those small tests had changed so much in so little time since they had had Jason._

 _"Well it is almost 2010 babe."_

 _"it is." He agreed. There was a moment of silence between them. "God, do you realize it's been 20 years since we got married?"_

 _"We are old..." Elizabeth bantered on. "Too old to be having a baby..."_

 _"Well, you are not that old..." Henry smiled._

 _"Shut up, that isn't helping..." She hit his arm softly as she sat across from him on the tub._

 _Henry's phone buzzed._

 _It was time._

 _"Hey." He said softly touching her arm. "Whatever happens, we'll figure it out, okay?"_

 _"Okay"_

* * *

Elizabeth had insisted on going to Alison's game like she had times before, and it was up to Fred to make sure everything ran smootly in such a public place. It was weird really but was one of those rare ocassions that Stevie and Jason had agreed to come too. Since moving to DC it was something she had comitted the children in doing, at least one thing together every week or she'd barely see her kids.

"Mama look!" The youngest of the clan piped in as Alison stopped another goal. She and Henry cheered on as Alison turned around to give them a thumbs up. Suddenly Bess's phone buzzed.. Henry turned to look at her.

"Babe, what is it?" Henry asked. He didn't need to, though, he knew exactly what it was.

She didn't pick up the phone so it must have been a text or something, because next thing he knew, Fred was calling for Elizabeth.

"Oh, okay baby, I have to go..." She told her four year old. She looked up from the sitting positon on her lap, her eyes were fixed on hers. "Go and sit with daddy okay?"

She did as she was told but Elizabeth knew her child was upset, because she didn't even answer her, instead she moved to sit on Henry's lap.

"Tell her I had to go." She told her husband. He nodded and kissed her. She brushed her daugther's cheek softly before kissing her other girls and Jason goodbye.

Mama had to go to work. And somtimes, in moments like these, it broke her heart.

* * *

She had come home late. Later than she anticipated because all the kids seemed to be in bed already. She poured herself some cereal in a bowl and made her way upstairs. She didn't want to be alone after a day like today, what had seemed to start like a happpy one, for the books really, turned into one sadistic bloodbath in which she had been in the middle of.

She came into the room to find Hannah, cuddled agaisnt Henry's chest, sound asleep as he read a book. "Hey." He said softly.

"Hi." She took a spoonful of her cereal as she watched her child sleep. "Was she mad?"

Henry sighed. "Nothing a little pizza couldn't fix.." He smiled at her. "Ali's team won, so it was a double victory..."

"And I missed it.." She said tiredly.

"Babe, it's fine... the kids understand..." He said.

"Do they?" She glanced at the little girl. "Sometimes I wish they didn't and they would just yell at me." She moved to set the bowl over at the dresser and moved to the bathroom to change, she came out a moment later.

"She wanted to wait up for you but..." Henry explained. "She wanted to say sorry for ignoring you right before you left. I guess she was in worse shape because she didn't say goodye to you, so she..."

"Mommy?"

"Hey munchin'..." Bess touched the girl's cheek softly. "Sorry if we woke you, go back to sleep, alright?"

"No mama, I'm sorry..." She opened her eyes wider but the exhaustion was evident in her face and tone.

"What for? I was the one to bail at the game..."

"You had to go and help people, your job is important..." The little girl said, glancing up at Henry who smiled at her, brushing her head with his finger.

"Yes, but not as important as daddy or you kids," She kissed her child's forehead.

"Kay, I love you mommy..." That was all it took as she began closing her eyes once more.

"I love you too baby..."

 **"The things that we love tell us what we are."**

 **Thomas Aquinas**

* * *

 **So? So sorry if this sucked, I am just obssesed with Elizabeth and Henry! Please let me know what you thought about it... More on Hannah coming on next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and how amazing is the acting I mean, come on, also, can I please have a husband like Henry please?**

 **I own nothing but what you might not recognize, this is just for fun regarding my new favorite show.**

 **Thanks so muhch for all the reviews I'm so glad you're liking it!**

 **Chapter 2:**

 _ **The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.**_

 _ **Audrey Hepburn**_

Elizabeth woke up on Sunday, her youngest child practically on top of her, she rolled to her side carefully not to wake her up. "Hi" She found Henry's face across from her.

"Hey..." Henry reached out for her hand. They remained silent for a moment. She had not wanted to tell him what had happened the day before as she was called for the Office. And he for one wasn't going to push it. They knew how this worked, they had both put their lives on the line more than once in the past, saying goodbye to their children and not knowing if they made it homr the next morning. She was deep in thought as she felt her husband kssing her hand. It was just that, caring showing of tenderness that made her fall in love with him like she'd done back when they were kids. "Should we.."

"No." Elizabeth moved her eyes to watch her baby girl sleep, she had had not reacted as badly as her siblings about the move, really she had been the most understanding of them all. but it was probably because she didn't know what her new job implied. Not as well as the girls or Jason. "No, the house is quiet, I just want to stay like this a little longer." Henry sighed, as they both watched their child sleep.

* * *

 _This wasn't meant to be as hard, she was scared about telling Henry about the pregnancy, but having to tell her children proved to be extremly dificult too. "Please don't tell me you are dying..." Stevie huffed._

 _Alison thigthened her grip on Henry as she shushed her sister. "Mom?"_

 _"Of course not, no one is dying.." Elizabeth sat across the rest of her family, Henry held on to Alison as Steve and Jason sat there expentantly. "Quite the oposite actually." She smiled at Henry as she then turned back to her kids. Stevie's eyes drfted to her mother's flat tummy. And her eyes grew wide. She had done this twice before already._

 _"Oh My God!" She piped in. "How? No wait, don't say anything!." She added nerviously as she tried to look away from her parents. I mean she was almost 16, she knew how this worked. How you were meanr to make a baby._

 _"What?"" Her 8 year old brother asked._

 _"It wasn't like it was planned honey it just..." Henry pointed out amused. "Mom and i are just as surprised as you are..."_

 _"What?" Jason asked again. "I don't get it..."_

 _"Could you be more clueless?" Stevie said with a laugh. "They are having a baby, mom is pregnant." Her sibling's eyes widened in utter surprised._

 _"Oh My God!" Ally mused. "How did it... I mean you.." Henry looked over at her wife as she struggled with having it to explain it to her 11 year old that mom and dad were still able to have a baby because they weren't that old, after all, they did have Stevie quite young, not that they would conclude that just yet. "And, are you happy about it?" Her sweet girl asked._

 _"We are, I mean, it will be quite the adjustment for everyone, but I think we can make it work, right?" He glanced over at Jason who remained silent._

 _"Yeah, sure, I'll help anyway I can" Alison said with a smile._

 _"Thank you Noodle, that means a lot." Elizabeth moved to hug her middle child as she kissed her forehead._

 _"This is crazy, I mean, I am practically an adult, that's like 18 more years raising someone.." Stevie argued as she hugged her dad. "But I'm all in..."_

 _"Well that is a relief..." Henry joked hugging her._

 _"Jason?" Elizabeth asked her youngest child. "Honey? What's on your mind?"_

 _The little boy looked up for a moment. "Can I be excused?"_

 _"You have nothing you want to say buddy?" Henry asked softly._

 _"Yes, can I go to my room?" He said, Elizabeth looked at Henry who shrugged._

 _"Sure..." She said with a smile. As she watched her son disapear._

 _"Well, that went well..." Stevie pointed out as Alison turned to her mom._

 _"You think he's okay?"_

 _"I'll go talk to him." Henry said as he made his way upstairs to Jason's room._

 _The door was half open and Jason sat on his bed, he was clearly upset as he spotted his dad and turned away. "So that was quite the news, huh?" Jason shrugged. "Come on buddy, you've got to give me something."_

 _"What if it's another boy?" Henry smiled sweetly at him._

 _"Then you'll have someone to help you against Stevie and Alison.."_

 _"But that's you. You and I are a team." He said as a matter of facty. "Another kid is just going to ruin everything..."_

 _"Oh buddy, that's so not the case, do you think mom and I loved Stevie less once you and your sister came along?" Jason waved his head. "Then what makes you think it will be any different this time?"_

 _"I don't know.."_

 _"I promise you it won't..." Henry kissed Jason's forehead. He looked over at the door to see Elizabeth standing there. Tears streaming down her face. "We love you so much buddy."_

 _Darn hormones._

* * *

Jason was the one awake when his parents made it downstairs. He was watching TV as he munched on cereal. "Good morning."

"Morning." He said back, barely making eye contact with them.

"Oh, I so need coffee." Elizabeth smiled as Henry made a point in hurrying to give her some. "Thank you babe, you are the greatest.."

"I am here to please." Henry smirked as he leaned to kiss her softly on the lips. "So, what are we doing today?"

"Not sure, I wish we could just stay home and do nothing..."

"I'm all in for that!" Jason called from the couch. Henry and Elizabeth glanced at each other.

"Or, I might have a better idea." He said behind Jason and snatched the remote from his hand.

"Hey!" He tried pulling on his dad and Henry landed on the couch next to him, both of them still wrestling.

Elizabeth spotted Hannah coming down the stairs as she reacted from all the sound downstairs. "Hi mommy..."

"Hi baby.."

"What are they doing?" She asked, her eyes wide from excitement.

"I'm...I'm not sure.." Elizabeth giggled as Hannah moved to join the action, jumping between her father and brother.

"Ahh!" Jason laughed as Hannah giggled, as he began to tickle her. "Stop, stop, I give up.." Jason raised his hands in defeat as Henry left the couch to join his wife back in the kitchen.

It was about an hour later that Ally and Stevie joined a game of basketball. And for one, Elizabeth endulged in the prospect that as Hannah had put it, she had kept people safe, because she had done her job.

 **"This is real life, don't let it pass you by, laugh and cry.**  
 **This is real life, sometimes we love, sometimes we fight."**

 **Rayna Jaymes**

* * *

 **What did you guys think? I just love McCord family fluff! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with me! I love hearing from you. I do apologize for any mistake :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing!**

 **Are you guys not liking the way I am writing this? Please review, as hearing from you makes me want to write more :)**

 **Chapter 3:**

 _ **Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."**_  
 _ **— Robert A. Heinlein (Stranger in a Strange Land)**_

 _Eli_ zabeth let out a deep breath as she tossed the remaning papers of the day on her desk. It was not even 5 and she was struggling with the fact she had not made it early enough to see the kids all week, she barely said hello to them in the morning, this US and Russia dispute was dragging on and President Dalton was breathing down her neck over fixing it quickly because it was just a matter of time before it would blow out in their face.

"You have visitors m'am.." Blake came in announcing Henry and Hannah, a nice view to sore eyes. "I didn't know how busy you were but..."

"Mommy!" Henry put the little girl down as she went to hug her child, her weariness and demeanor changing instantly as she held onto her.

"Well this is a nice susrprise, what in the world are you guys doing here? I thought you had a playdate?" She told her daugther with a smile. She couldn't deny how much she wished she could spend some time with them, after all, she had barely spent some time at home in the last week and it was Friday.

"Well, someone suggested to go out for ice cream and I thought,' Someone else might want Ice cream too..."

"I like Ice cream.." Blake said suddenly, which made the little girl grin up at him. "No one should pass up ice cream, not ever.."

"Exactly what I thought." Said Henry with a smile.

"Oh guys, I wish I could, but I still have to get trough all of this." She sighed as she contemplated the amount of paperwork Jay had left on her desk. Her daughter's eyes glistened, she glanced over at Henry as if she was begging him to try harder.

"I'm sure all of this will still be here in a few hours." Henry smrked as he glanced over at his child and Elizabeth understood. Hannah was the one who had come up with the idea of taking her mother out of work, even if it was only for a little while and, unlike her other children, wanted to spend some time with her, Stevie had her work, Ally her growing social life who had come to a hault since they had moved to DC, and Jason who for one wasn't home as his school was on a trip.

"Please mommy? Daddy said he'd let me have a whole fudge sundae."

"Really? A whole one?" She mused. "Well that sure sounds tempting. Will he let me have one too then?"

"I'm sure we can come to an agreement..." Henry smiled winking at his child. She turned to eye her child, her eyes sparkling at her. Her daddy's eyes.

How could she say no to that?

* * *

 _She had had the worst headache and her feet were killing her. Whoever thought having a baby past your forties was a good idea must have never had sore feet. She made it to her room in one piece and sat beside Henry letting go oif a sigh._

 _"Everything okay?" Henry asked, his face lifting from the book he was readng. "Did Jason argued about his party again?"_

 _"Yes, all I could compromise to was having a few friends over, taking them to the rink..."_

 _"That sounds reasonable enough." She shot him a look. "Or not?"_

 _"It does, but I am not sure my feet can handle skates." She mused, moving on her back as she sat up on the bed, which wasn't easy as she was 7 months pregnant. "Or my energy for that matter."_

 _"We can ask Isabelle for help? She did say she was coming and Stevie will be there, everything will be fine Liz."_

 _"I just..." She let her emotions get the best of her as she began sobbing. Henry smiled softly and moved closer to her, rubbing her back. "Can you believe Jason is 9?"_

 _"I can." Henry said. "And soon enough he'll be liking girls..." This only made Elizabeth sob harder. "Oh honey, I'm just messing with you."_

 _"Don't." She slapped away his hand as he tried to hug her. "You don't know how I feel, alright? Everything hurts, everything is huge and I am a hormonal mess."_

 _"A hot hormonal mess." Henry kissed her neck softly._

 _"You and scholar sweet talk is what got us here in the first place." She supressed a moan. "It's not going to work..." He let go of her and smiled softly._

 _"What will then?" Henry asked, quite disapointed._

 _"Ice cream, ice cream always does make me feel better?"_

 _"Since when is Ice cream better than sex?" Henry huffed._

 _"Since you got me pregnant." She told him, he complaided her though, he did not want her to get even more sensitive than she already was. He was thankful all of this was going to end in about 2 more months, he'd made it this far._

 _'Love is patient, love is good' Henry thought to himself as he made his way downstairs to get ice cream._

* * *

"Here you go. Enjoy.." The waitress said as she placed two cups of ice cream in front of them.

"Thank you so much." Henry smirked at the girl as he turned to his over excited four year old. "Easy on the sugar munchkin..."

"Daady, but you said I could..." She groaned adorably

"You did say daddy..." Elizabeth added in much to Henry's dismay but her delight, secretetly of course, She turned to see Fred standing behind her, he was trying not to smile at how Henry was wrapped around Hannah's little finger.

"So, sweetie..." Elizabeth began, capturing her child's attention once more. "Daddy tells me you made some new friends at school?" Her daugther was shy, inspite of her chipping personality, much like Henry she was quiet and inquisitive, and for one she was kind of a loner, especially since they had moved, it was sudden and even though she was the one who was struggling less with the changes, unlike her siblings. she had had a rough start at her new school.

"Yeah, Katie's really nice." She said as she engulfed on her treat. "She was sad today.'"

"Why's that baby?"

"Cause I told her I really missed you so daddy and I came to see you at work, even though you are so busy..." She explained, quite articulative for a four year old. "So I didn't play with her."

"But her mom did say we could go to her brother's birthday party tomorrow." Henry put in at the sight of his wife's face. "So it doesn't really..."

"Oh, well that's good, isn't it?"

"Elizabeth.." Henry warned. She smiled softly at her child and told her she should think really hard on what to get Katie's brother. Henry had saved her from upseting their child. She didnt't want her to feel guitly about wanting to spend time with her, it should be the other way around though, she should be the one making time for her children in her over demanding job.

They walked back to Elizabeth's offce hand in hand, their eager child on Henry's shoulders bantering on. "Here we are." Henry said making a stop. Hannah grinned at jer mother from Henry's levarge point kissed her mother's nose tenderly.

"Well, thank you so much for that Sundae, it was one of the best i've ever had..."

"It is not mommy, daddy's are better!" Hannah piped in.

"Well you might have a point there princess. We might have to remind her just how good they are." He bit his lip, making Liz blush softly as he kissed her. Henry put Hannah safely back in his arms so she could give Elizabeth a hug. She wrapped her arms around her neck as her head was on her shoulder.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"You liked the surprise, right?" She struggled with her 'r' as Elizabeth began rocking her back and forth.

"Yes, thank you for my wonderful surprise.. I love you so much baby," She mouthed thank you as Henry kissed her again, she began to make her way inside as Hannah waved at her as she sent her a kiss.

* * *

 **Yees! More fluff and flashbacks! So what did you think? Next up, some siblings bonding time! Don't forget to review, they make me smile.**


	4. Chapter 4

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing!**

 **Hey guys! Thank you so much for the support! I love writing about this family which I adore, I know there isn't a lot of the political stuff like in other stories and I'll try and make better but I just love family fluff and drama too much ;)**

 **Chapter 4:**

 _ **"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."**_

 _ **Ingrid Bergman**_

She was going to Iran and that was final. that was all there was going to be really, she had drifted the conversation about the fact that she didn't want him to grow old alone in case something happened to her during this trip. Sure, Stevie barely needed them now and Ally and Jason would be out the door before they both had time to blink, nevertheless, her thoughts came back to her toddler, her little one, pleasant, unexpected surprise child. 'Make sure you always remind her, all of them how much I love them.' She thought as she saw him, sexy as ever, glasses and all. "Ah, good,I'm glad I don't have to wake you up"

"I don't like the sound of that." Darn, he was good, pilot, NSA, Marine Corps, but most of all, husband.

"I've been at the White House."

"Yeah, for quite a while." _He didn't like where was going._

"I had to convince the president that the only way out of this little pickle in Iran is to go there." _Oh, right._

"Please tell me that you mean for him to go there." He looked at her face. _Hell, no._

"Henry."

"No." There, he'd said it, She would not be happy but he had to play that card. "I have always got your back, but going to Iran when there's a coup in the works? No, I'm playing the husband card."

"Babe, listen to me, if this coup moves forward and takes out the current government, Iran will become a failed state. "

"You know - Stop. I know you're gonna say this is what you signed up for, there are millions of lives at stake,but I..."

"What part of this do you disagree with?"

"Okay there are God knows how many radicals who would love to kill you."

"That's why it's a secret mission. They won't even know I'm there. Okay, look, The whole point of my going is precisely because of the risk. How else are we going to send the message that we really have nothing to do with this coup?"

"So now you admit it's risky." Oh now, this was not where he wanted to go, if they raised their voices a bit more, the kids might hear them.

"And sanctioned by the can take it up with him, if you want to." There was a knock on the door at that moment. Shoot, She wasn't supposed to lock the door, but this was something she didn't want her children to hear. Henry sighed, moving his hands trough his hair as he moved to the door, Jason and Hannah stood there, Jason?

"Daddy?" His bright little girl, looked up at him wrapped in a blanket as Jason stood beside her.

"She didn't like the yelling, so we wanted to make sure everything was okay." His son said, eyeing his father for a moment.

"There was no yelling, it was just.." His mother tried to reason with him as he made a point.

"A heated discussion?" Jason piped in as Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Fine, say what you will, but I am not the one who needs convincing.."

"Come here you..." Henry picked up the little girl and moved back to where Elizabeth was siting. Jason followed suit. "Listen munchkin, mommy and I.. we were just..."

"Mommy's going away again, isn't she?" She asked him. Henry glanced over at his wife, and she nodded, holding Jason closer.

"Yes, yeah she is." He admitted.

"But it won't be for long and I'll be back before you know it, alright?" Hannah looked over at Jason as if he could assure her Elizabeth was telling the truth. Her brother shrugged, there wasn't much they could do about it, really.

"See?" Henry said as he sat the little girl between him and Elizabeth. "You don't have to worrry about a thing."

"Hakuna Matata." Jason added in. "Remember that movie that we saw about the lions?"

"The daddy dies, I had to cover my eyes, cause it was so sad..." She said in a matter of facty way.

"That's not... Anyways, you don't have to worry, okay?" Jason said sweetly. "Dad probably just wants to go too.."

"Oh, yeah I am so jealous right now..." He made a face which made Hannah smile. "Why does mommy always get to go to all the cool places huh?" Hannah shrugged. "Now, the sooner you go to bed, the sooner, she''ll be back."

"Here, let's go back to sleep " Elizabeth stood up, picking the four year old. "It's way passed your bed time missy..."

"Mommy?"

"What is it honey?" She put her back into bed and tucked her in, kissing her forehead as she went. She was long gone before she could say another word. Elizabeth turned back to see Jason smile at her, saying goodnight.

"Hey buddy?" He turned around to look at her. "Thank you for being such a good big brother." Jason smiled even wider and headed to his room without amother word.

* * *

Henry was staring at her as she made her way back to the room. "Hey, come on, come here." She held on to him as she breathed him in. "I'm going to be okay babe, I love you."

"You better be, because I just lied to our child." Henry huffed, pulling back.

"But just in case I'm not..."

She had told him what she wanted in case something went wrong, not because she wanted to be pesimist, but because she was being realistic. A year, maybe two at most for the kids sake to re marry and she had conditions. Nothing like of the sort of Rene Brown or younger than 40. A hot comodity she'd said.

"Are we done?" Henry said, clearly amused but overbearing over her obsessing.

"I don't know, what else do you think we need to cover?" She bit her lip playfully because she knew her husband, and she loved him deeply for this. "Make sure the kids don't like new Mrs. McCord more than they like me." She said as he kissed her, pinning her down to the bed.

"Well, I'm marrying her, and I already don't like her..." He mused as he bit her lower lip. "But If this is our last night together..." He made a move as his hands traveled down her body.

"Computer passwords?" She asked gasping as he literally took her breath away.

"Wow, That is so hot."

* * *

She had no heart to look at her children in the eye, even though she had to pretend this was just another trip she'd had to do in Conrad's name. "Noodle, I am so sorry all of this happened on your birthday..."

"Oh, it's okay." Ally said sweetly. "It's no big deal, right? We can all celebrate later."

"Yes, later, it's a deal." Elizabeth kissed her child's forehead again as she hugged her close. "Okay guys, I really do have to go."

She turned to Henry. "Would you..." After saying a few more 'I love you' and hugging them once more, she finally turned back, dragging Henry to the foyer.

"It will be okay Henry, really."

"It'd better be, because after last night, I think we might have just nade a baby," She shot him a look as he chuckled.

"Don't even joke about that, it's.. we already have a baby and she's wonderful." Elizabeth smile. "Make sure you tell her how much I Love her.."

"I will babe." Henry said kissing softly, but she pulled back.

"Now, I do really have to go, I'll see you in a few days..."

And just like that she was out the door. Henry then heard the stomping of two small feet. Before he could register what was happening Hannah opened the door, yelling after her mother and Henry had no choice but to go after her.

"Mommy!" Elizabeth turned aroundh, just in time to catch her. "Never leave without I love you, right?"

Elizabeth glanced over at Henry and he smiled. "Of course not, I love you.."

"To the moon and back?" She asked, holding on to her neck as Henry came closer to them with a blanket in hand.

"Even further than that and back..." She grinned widely as Elizabeth struggled to keep her composure. "Here baby, I need you to go with daddy okay?" She nodded as Henry took her, she burried her face on the crook of her neck as Henry rocked her back and forth making his way back inside the house."I'll see you in a few days." She blew them a kiss as Henry stood there for a moment. their child waving goodbye.

"Daddy?" Daddy!?"She made him react by grabing his face. She kissed his cheek as she told him she loved him too. Henry wanted to break down right then and there, this was proving to be harder than he anticipated, mostly because it was the frst time since Elizabeth had taken this job, hell since she had retired from The Company that he didn't know the outcome of whatever she was in the middle of. This wasn't just about reassurance, this was about war.

A war he wasn't willing to allow Elizabeth become a victim of, just to make a point.

"Dad?" Stevie looked over as Henry as he carried her little sister inside, putting her down and telling her to go and have breakfast wirh her siblings. Stevie watched as her sister was away to speak again, "Is mom going where I think she is?" Henry didn't answer, he didn't have the strenght to do so, he didn't even have the will.

"It's okay, she'll be fine." Stevie smiled as she wrapped an arm around her father. Henry came into the kitchen to find his children laughing, oblivous of what was really going on.

And for once Henry wished he could be just as innocent as they were.

 _ **We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.**_

 _ **Orson Welles**_

* * *

 **Sorry there was no flashback in this chap, but we saw a sweeter side of Jason as he's starting to grow on me more, sorry if this is just not as long. this was actually longer but I just can't stay awake any longer and I start a new job in the morning so I should probably go to bed, anyways thanks again and as you can see I borrowed a lot of what happened from the actua episode with a little twist added in.**

 **Thank you so much for readng and I'll try to updaye as soon as I can, also, review if you get the chance. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing!**

 **Hey guys! Thank you so much for the support! I love writing about this family which I adore, sorry it took me too long to update but I just got myself a new job and it's been kind of nuts... I'm gonna be writing about the uncertainty of the Iran situation in this chapter, I do hope you enjoy! Again, I am just in love with this family. Took a bit of actual text from the episode, but I still don't own a thing, just my imagination.**

 **Chapter 5:**

 _ **"The worst part of not knowing is the waiting part, it's not just that what makes you feel powerless, it's the impossibility to expect a different outcome"**_

 _ **-Uknown**_

Henry had tried to focus on his book all afternoon, he had not heard from Elizabeth all day and that made him so uneasy. He had known since the first momet she had told him, this was a bad idea.

"Dad?" Stevie stood by the door of his office, arms crossed, face fixed on him. "Are you okay?" Henry moved his face away from the stubborn page and smiled.

"Yes, why wouldn't i be?"

"Well because mom is in the middle of a war zone and she hasn't caled, I've been thinking about it all day too." She admitted. Henry sighed, burrying his face in his hands, frustrated and tired, he was determined though, to not let this affect his kids, specially Ally, it was her birthday and there was already too much sadness sorrounding this whole thing with Elizabeth gone. "What can I do?"

Yes, what could they do? Henry had wanted to take the kids away from the house so they wouldn't be around any screen in case something happened. His stomach took a turn at the thought of the idea of something actually going wrong.

"Tell you what? How about we shake traditons a little bit today?" Stevie arched an eyebrow. "I was thiking, ribs and an amazing key lime pie?"

"What exactly are you trying to do Dad?" Stevie inquiered with a smile. "Ally won't like the uncany disregard for family traditons much, she'll know something is wrong."

"She will, won't she?" Henry sighed.

"Of course I would!" Ally appeared out of the side to their surprise. "Something is wrong, isn't it? Is it Mom? She didn't really go to Sattle..."

"Noodle, listen..." Henry began, but his child cut him off.

"No! I am not a little kid anymore... I think I have the right to know what's going on... specially when it comes to Mom..."

Alison had began to struggle with her words and this was exactly why Henry didn't want his very sweet girl have to deal with this.

"So?" Stevie and Henry looked at each other for a moment, wheighting their options. They didn't want to spoil her turning 16 over this, you only turned 16 once.

Henry moved around the house making sure everything was ready before they stepped out for dinner, this was unlike them for birthdays, but he didn't want to risk it on Jason and Hannah to figure out something was wrong, it was hard enough telling Noodle, his heart breaking at the sight of his middle child's broken heart and worried frown.

"Everyone ready?" Henry came into the living room, Stevie was helping Hannah with her shoes.

"I still don't get why we have to go out. You always make dinner... I for one wouldn't mind a homecooked meal..." Jason sighed.

"Well Mom isn't here and 16 is big so I figured we'd do something different for a change." Henry said.

"Yeah and we can really celebrate once Mom is back." Ally added in. Henry mouthed a thank you and smiled.

"No!" Hannah pushed Stevie away from her as she began putting on her jacket. "No, I want the blue one..."

"You said you wanted this one a minute ago kiddo, come on, we have to go..."

"No!" She pushed her away again and rushed to Henry's side.

"Now I remeber why I don't live here anymore.." Stevie sighed. Earning some kind of remark from Jason which made her roll her eyes and Ally giggle.

"Hey munchink, what's going on huh?" He knelt on the child's level. "We need to get going..."

"But Daddy...Mama's not here, you said, if I went to sleep, she would..." Ally glanced over at her little sister. She had taken a nap earlier waking up expecting to see Elizabeth bieng home already. "You said!"

"I know I did, but you know what? Mom's going to take at least one more going to sleep to come back, she's still working..." He tried to explain.

"You know what Han? I bet she'd love to see a card from when she comes back, we can make one once we come back from dinner okay? I'll let you blow the candles with me, what do you say?" Hannah bit her lip for a moment.

"Can I have to slices of cake?" She asked. She turned to Henry in all seriousness. She sometimes acted so grown up Henry often forgot she just turned 4.

"I'll let you have mine if we leave know...I'm starving..." Jason pipped in, breaking the tension for everyone else. Henry picked up the litle girl, jacket and all, glancing at his phone as he did.

Still no news of his wife.

* * *

"Allow me to introduce my wife, Marajel." Zahed said with a smile as Elizabeth came face to face with the man's wife.

"Pleasure to meet you." She said, with a shaking of her hand. Strong grip.

"So nice to meet you." She said.

"Thank you for having me in your home secretly." Well, it was true, she should be home really, enjoying Ally's 16th birthday instead of disrupting another family's dinner time.

"Must feel a little strange, I'm sure..."

"It's politics.I knew what I was getting into when I married Zahed."

"That's good.I actually kind of sprang it on my husband." Yes well it wasn't just Henry who had sacrificed a lot for her to get that job, mostly because Conrad had practically forced it on her too, she didn't have a choice. "I have to say, Marajel, I'm an admirer of your work."

"You know my work?"

"I do, does that sound surprising?" Elizabeth smiled. "Really impressive if I must say."

"I'm impressed that you even know that I'm an architect." The other woman seemed to blush a bit, obviously proud of herself.

"Former CIA, she studies her enemies, darling " Zahed said much to Elizabeth's turn to blush, even though she didn't know if that should worry her. She spotted the children then, a bit younger than Jason and her mind traveled back to Henry and the kids. The boy turned to his father.

"English, Katan." Zahed insisted which made Elizabeth smile.

" Don't be rude." Marajel put in.

"Sorry, Mother, but is it?" The little boy asked,

"Yes, this is , my friend, Secretary of State Elizabeth McCord." Zahed said with a smile.

"Hi." She smiled at both children. "Nice to meet you."

"My sons Abdol and Katan."

"So you're from the Great Satan?" The eldest of the boys asked, Elizabeth arched an eyebrow.

"Abdol, really?" His mother said, reprouching him.

"A joke, Mother." The boy said, in a way that Jason would, boys she guessed, no matter the culture that didn't change much.

"I thought it was funny." Elizabeth pointed out making the boy smile.

You're lucky our guest is forgiving." Zahed said whispering at him, making the boy lower his head.

"Americans can joke about themselves, is part of their culture. Is that not true, Secretary McCord?" Nope, maybe not so much like Jason. Or was he?

"Okay, first of all, your English is better than my kids'. And secondly, yes, Americans can laugh about themselves,not enough politicians do." This made the boys and their parents relax a little.

"I understand that you have children as well, Elizabeth." Zahed said politely.  
"I do." I have three girls and I have a boy who's 13, just about your age, I bet, yeah? Not quite yet? Well no worries, I also have a four year old so..maybe that's closer.." She smiled.

"A toddler? Really?" Marajel asked. "You certaintly don't look like you just had a child..."

"Oh well, she just turned four so, no, I didn't really just had her but don't let the make up fool you, she's still a lot to keep up with, most llike she was, a surprise to say the least." Elizabeth smiled.

"Every child is a blessing indeed." Marajel said. "They keep us, as people say, belieiving, don't they?"

"They really do."

"Secretary McCord and I should get down to business." Zahed told his wife and children."Hey, don't you boys have homework, huh?

Come on, now." Marajel followed her children down the hall. She said their goodbyes and her mind shifted once more to the task at hand.

* * *

"Don't forget to make a wish Noodle..." Henry told Alison as the waiter brought on the cake to the table.

"Wanna help me blow the candles?" Alison told her little sister, much to her delight. "OKay, ready? One, two, three." They all cheered as Ally and Hannah blew on the cake, Henry's phone buzing as she did. It was a text from Elizabeth saying she had tried to call home and she wished she was there to cekebrate with them.

Well, at least she was okay. Stevie glanced over at Henry and he smiled, letting her know everyting seemed alriight.

They made it home about half an hour later, Hannah still awake from the sugary cake. Perfect time to get her distracted from somethng else as Stevie and Ally took out the Laffy strings. Henry's phone buzzed once more though.

And this time, it wasn't Bess. It was Dalton.

 _ **When your feet don't touch the ground, And your world turned upside down, Here, it's safe, in this place, Above the clouds.**_

 ** _Gary Barlow._ **

* * *

**So... What did you guys think? Sorry for taking so long to update but I honestly had not found the time to do so, I hope this chapter didn't disapoint though. Next one will be updated next saturday and it will pick up right after this one.**

 **Thank you so much for the support. Please review and thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing! Just my love for Hannah and the show!**

 **Hi guys! So glad it's Saturday! I'm so glad you liked last chapter! I love hearing what you all think! Please don't forget to review if you get the chance.**

 **Chapter 6:**

They made it home about half an hour later, Hannah still awake from the sugary cake. Perfect time to get her distracted from something else as Stevie and Ally took out the Laffy strings. Henry's phone buzzed once more though.

And this time, it wasn't Bess. It was Dalton.

"Dad?" Stevie was the one to first notice the change in her father's demeanor. "What? What's wrong?" Henry took the phone, telling her to make sure her siblings didn't come into the room.

Henry's heart sank as he took the phone and spoke. "Hello?"

"Dr. McCord, it's Nadine Tolliver."

* * *

"Is she alive? Don't give me the company line, Conrad, you and I both know we are way over that..." Henry had made it to The White House in record time, leaving Stevie to keep everything at home in the best shape she could, even though now even Ally knew something was really wrong.

"I honestly don't know." _He was the president, how the hell didn't he know?_

"Then tell me exactly what you do know."

"I'm sorry, Henry, Nadine already told you everything. Everything we know at least..."

"I want to hear it from you." He commanded, his head pounding.

"We believe her security detail was overrun." Conrad said, as calm as he could at the sight of worry written all over Henry's face.

"How is that even possible? She said..." Henry ran his fingers trough his hair. He was not a man to loose his composure.

"It was a deliberately small footprint." Russell pointed out. Henry didn't even look at him.

"Elizabeth signed off on it to maintain covert mission integrity." Dalton added in.

"You and the president knew the risk. So did Elizabeth, in order for it to be safe..."

"How is this safe?" Henry let out. "How is my wife being in the middle of a political war, safe?"

"Henry, I want to find her just as much as you do." Dalton said. Henry saw nothing but honesty written on the man's face.

"Well, I appreciate that, but let me be clear: If she doesn't make it, and I find out that you left any asset untapped, any strategic option unexplored, if you've missed any opportunity to save her, I swear to God, I will hold you responsible." Conrad smiled softly at him as Russell stepped forward.

"Henry, remember who you're talking to."

"It's okay." Dalton told Russell.

"You find her. Bring her back."Henry told the man in front of him.

 _She needs to come back. She has to._

* * *

 _Henry woke up to the feeling on a sharp pain in his head. He wondered how he had even managed to fall asleep. Hannah slept there by his side, she had probably made it there in the middle of the night. He turned to the clock on the other side. They were going to be late._

 _"Isabelle." Was the first thing he said as soon as he made it to the kitchen. "What are you doing here?"_

 _"Stevie gave me a key, she said you might need a hand with everything..." His friend said. "I made coffee."_

 _"You don't have to be here." Henry said. "Really there isn't... I've got it."_

 _"Do you really? Listen, if you don't want my help, fine, but let me do this for Bess, you might think you don't need people, but you do Henry, this isn't something you can handle on your own, no matter how though you are."_

 _"Aunt Isabelle!" Allison hugged her mom's old friend. "Are you... coming with us?"_

 _"Of course." Isabelle smiled. Ally turned to her dad, Henry smiled. "Shall we make some breakfast?"_

 _"I'm not really hungry..." Ally admitted. "I think I might throw up if I eat anything, no offense."_

 _Henry made it upstairs with a cup of coffee in hand. Hannah was still sleeping in his bed as he had left her. Neither Stevie nor Jason were somewhere to be found. "Hey." A Voice said behind him suddenly._

 _"Since when does Isabelle have a key to the house?" Henry asked as Stevie's frame came into view._

 _"I gave it to her dad, I thought she might help us." She admitted. "We need help."_

 _"Do we'" Henry said harshly. Stevie stared at her father._

 _"Yes, God Dad, where do I start? Jason barely talks and Ally cries all night... Hannah thinks...She has nightmares every night, running to any room she can because of the bad guys she thinks are coming for her, so yes, even though you think you have everything under control. You don't." Henry stared at her child for a second, then avoided her gaze._

 _"Daddy?" A small voice said as he turned to Hannah. "Is it morning?"_

 _"It is sweetie." Henry said softly. "Did you have another bad dream last night?" The little girl nodded."Come here." He placed the little girl onto his lap as he hugged her. "It's okay honey, nothing is ever gonna happen to you, I promise, alright?" Hannah didn't answer. "Tell you what? Why don't you go see Aunt Isabelle...I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."_

 _"Daddy?"_

 _"Yes munchkin?"_

 _"When is mommy coming back?" Henry and Stevie shared a glance. "I've gone to bed a bunch of times and she isn't back..."_

 _"Honey, we talked about that remember..."_

 _"No! Tell me daddy... you said she'd be back now... you said..."_

 _"Go find Ally and Aunt Isabelle, I heard she brought muffins..." Stevie insisted. Changing the subject for the hundred time. Hannah asked again and then said she was going to ask Isabelle because Stevie was no help._

 _"She doesn't have to come you know?" Stevie told Henry. "She won't even know what's going on"_

 _Jason had made it downstairs a moment later, still not talking to anyone. Not even Isabelle._

 _"We don't need a babysitter" Jason told her. "There's already too many people doing nothing here..."_

 _"I thought you weren't talking to anyone?" Ally told him._

 _"I'm not." Jason said in a matter of facty. "I'm making a point."_

 _"Last time I heard, that was considered talking." Isabelle told him. "You do need to talk, you know?"_

 _"What's the point? It's not going to change anything." Jason shrugged._

 _Just as Henry had dreaded it. It was over. Just like that and he had no idea what to do now._

 _"Again. I'm so sorry Henry." Russell Jackson came his way, he shook his hand as he totted Hannah in the other. Henry nodded._

 _"So what now?" Jason asked as he watched people passing them by, hugging them and talking to them. Stevie held Ally as she comforted her, Hannah avoided any contact as she held on to Henry's jacket. "What are supposed to do now?"_

 _ **"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time."**_  
 _ **― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh**_

* * *

 ** _uh oh... what happened? Is Elizabeth gone... Careful there is a catch... Hey you wanted a twist didn't you?_**

 ** _Thank you so much for reading and don't forget to review! Might have another update coming tomorrow if I get the chance..._**


	7. Chapter 7

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing! Just my love for Hannah and the show!**

 **So sorry for the late update everyone... my life's been kind of crazy lately! Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 7:**

Henry opened his eyes to dark room and an empty bed. What the hell had that been all about? Losing Elizabeth? Having to raise his children without a mother? He couldn't just phantom with that, and still, there were no news on his wife's location or even if she was alive, so even if it had been a nightmare, in reality, the darkness was far from over.

"Good morning." Jason said as Henry made his way downstairs, weariness written all over his face. Jason had barely noticed though cause he was playing one of his video games and for one Henry was grateful he was able to wipe that look off his face before his toddler came downstairs, her messy brown hair and deep blue eyes made Henry feel uneasy. He was so much like him and Lizzie, a perfect mix of both of them, most like Ally really. She smiled at him with a wide grin.

"Daddy, can we have pancakes gain?" She asked. Even though it wasn't anyone's birthday anymore Henry complied, it would give him something to do other than worrying.

* * *

 _It wasn't a lie Henry worried about Bess and this pregnancy more than he'd worried about the last three, all of them had been different and had happened in such key moments of their lives that Henry wondered the meaning of this one was, they were not nearly ready to do this again specially in this circumstances , in fact, Henry felt as if was the first time he was doing this._

 _"Do a look like a gigantic whale?" Elizabeth asked, waddling her way over to the bed._

 _"No, more like an adorable penguin." He assessed with a smile, helping her up the bed as she let out a loud sigh._

 _"You do know this is all your fault right?" She sighed._

 _"Last time I heard, it took two to tango, babe." She gave him a grim grin and he laughed, moving her legs to her side so she was reachable for him to massage her feet._

 _"Tell you what?" She groaned as his movements felt beyond amazing. "Next time, you do it"_

 _"Next time?"He raised an eyebrow._

 _"Shut up and don't stop. God that feels good, standing is so overrated for a teacher... I hate standing. I could stay like this forever."_

* * *

Henry sighed as he watched Hannah helping him pour the milk on the bowl as he stirred. Soon enough, Jason had joined in, saying that as it was Saturday they were entitled to some chocolate chips.

"What's this?" Stevie asked, watching as they seemed to be immersed in their own thing to even notice her.

"Daddy's making pancakes, again!" Hannah giggled, she loved when her daddy made breakfast.

"Man, I can't believe mom is missing out on pancakes, twice!" Jason piped in. "When is she coming home again?"

"Soon" Henry and Stevie said in unison. Jason rolled his eyes.

"Alright, chill fantastic twins." He let out. Stevie eyed her dad from the corner of her eye."What is it with you two? You've been weird since yesterday..." Jason's eyes went wide. "Oh my God, I know... Is Stevie never going back to school, or better yet, is she pregnant?"

"Could you be more dumb?" Stevie sighed.

"Could you stop being you?" He shot back.

'"Okay, that's enough from the both of you." Henry said suddenly, in the mist of the argument, his voice harsher than he had intended it to be.

"Daddy?"

Henry grabbed on his temple and sat down on the kitchen island. "Stevie, would you take over for me? I have to go and make a call." Stevie and Jason shared a look as Hannah trailed behind her dad, her brother and sister were to slow as to stop her but Stevie pulled her back and told Jason to stay put. Allison was met by Henry upstairs first, Stevie trailed on behind Henry.

"Dad..." Allison's voice was muffled by her efforts to control her emotions.

"Noodle. What?"

"Mom...They say mom might be missing. The minister is dead."

"What?" Stevie let out. "Where did you..."

"It's all over the news, they know about mom's visit..."

Henry's heart went cold. He was begging for the phone to buzz to tell him something about Elizabeth. Anything."Alright . I am going to try and call, see if I can find out anything. "

"You two stay here, not a word to either Jason or Hannah, we need to... You need to finish breakfast." Allison blinked her tears away as she pulled even harder from Henry.

"What? Breakfast... didn't you hear me?" She was about to cry again.

"I did, that's why I'm asking you to stay here and just keep this from Jason and your baby sister...Please?"

"You got it dad..." Stevie sighed as she told Ally something and the two of them hugged Henry.

"Dad?"

"Yes Noodle?"

"I'm scared..."

"I know, me too."

Henry held on to his children as his mind drifted back to Elizabeth.

Was this nightmare about to become real?

* * *

 **More like a filler chapter, at least we know the last one was indeed a dream. So sorry for the small update, but as much as I want, I can't stay on for much for the support guys! Don't forget to review if you get the chance :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing! Just my love for Hannah and the show!**

 **Please don't hate me for the lateness of this! Stay tuned! There's still much to come but everytime I try and make myself write, something happens, please don't give up on me...**

 **Chapter 8 :**

 _Elizabeth McCord loved her family more than anything in her life, her girls, not too grown or old and Jason, her baby boy and the answer to Henry's prayers as he feaed to be outnumbered by girls, Elizabeth laughed more at this than she should have but Henry being terrified by what they would have seemed adorable to her, not that she'd tell him that._

 _"Mrs. McCord?" A nurse called them over with a smile. "You can come in now."_

 _"That's us." Henry took Bess's hand in his and led the way inside the small office._

 _"The doctor will be here any minute if you'd like to change." the nurse told Elizabeth._

 _"Thank you." She sighed as she moved on to the bathroom's door. Henry rested his back on the wall next to the door as he waited for his wife to come out. "You alright in there?" He called after her._

 _"Are you standing by the door?" Elizabeth asked. "Henry..."_

 _"What? Babe I'm just... yes I am, is that wrong?"_

 _"It is when you are obsessing..." She told him, opening the door._

 _"Me?_ _Obsessing?"_

 _"Yes, you." Elizabeth told him firmly. "It's just a checkup Henry, there not going to tell us something is wrong alright?" Henry sighed. He knew his wife had been struggling with this pregnancy a lot. And she could be pretty high risk, so yes, Henry worried, but Elizabeth seemed to be doing the exact opposite and it was driving him crazy. "I'm the mom, I'm the one whose meant to be neurotic, and I don't need you to add on it..."_

 _"So, you admit, you are worried?" He put in._

 _Elizabeth sighed. She was about to answer when the doctor came in._

 _"Elizabeth, Henry." Dr. Reynolds smiled. "How are you both?"_

 _"Well, the professor here is getting on my nerves, could you...I don't know, give him something to relax."_

 _"Hey!"_

 _"I'm sorry honey, but really, you just need to relax and let me worry, I am the one pregnant after all."_

 _Dr. Reynolds smiled as she watched the sweet banter between the two continue. Elizabeth laid on her back. "Where all this worry coming from? Have you been feeling some discomfort or pain?" the medic asked._

 _"No, but... I don't know maybe it's because I haven't been pregnant in so long but, this doesn't feel like last time." Elizabeth informed her. "Maybe it's nature's way of telling me we should have stopped at three. Three is a good number."_

 _"Honestly?" Dr. Reynolds said. "I think you two are overthinking this way too much, I've tended to late in age mothers and they do just fine, maybe it just feels different because you didn't think you'd have one more, but it has nothing to do with your age, not from what I'm seeing since you are asymptomatic..."_

 _"See? She knows what I'm talking about..." Elizabeth built up to Henry's frustration._

 _"Let's see now shall we?" This was the first time they actually made this pregnancy real, after taking all those pregnancy tests, Bess had not doubt in her mind she and Henry were having another baby, they just wanted to make it official so they could tell the kids. Then they heard it. A heartbeat and it became so real for them both. "You seem to be about 8 weeks along." Dr. Reynolds said as she kept on moving along Elizabeth's tummy. A smile formed on her lips instantly as Henry gave his wife a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Interesting..." Henry and Bess turned to the young doctor. Then they heard it, something was certainly different this time. There were not only one but two heartbeats._

 _"Please tell me my baby doesn't have to hearts" Elizabeth said._

 _"No, each one of them have their own, thank goodness." Dr. Reynolds said._

 _This was different. Henry was right as so was Elizabeth._

 _"Do either of you have twins in your family? Henry's throat went dry. "Everything seems to be normal..."_

 _This couldn't be normal. She'd said twins, Elizabeth McCord was 40 years old and about to have two babies._

 _Two. Babies._

* * *

Henry had been well over his head all day, trying to get more information from Nadine than the one she could give him. If he could, he would go and get Elizabeth himself.

"Where are your brother and sister?" Henry asked his daughters as he joined them on his room, they were cuddled on the bed, watching the news of the coup in Iran, waiting to see if there was something more on Bess.

"They're both asleep."

"I wish I was that blissfully unaware that something was going on." Stevie said. Henry sighed.

"You did a good job, not saying anything and protecting them like that." He said.

"Dad?" Allison asked as she cuddled closer to Henry. "This isn't going to end up like what happened to Nicholas did, is it?"

"Allison!" Stevie hissed. "Shut up! This isn't like that... Mom is going to be okay, she's coming home any minute, I know she is..."

"It's just, we didn't...I don't remember if I told mom I loved her, and I don't want..."

"She knows you love her Noodle, she knows we all love her." Henry said.

God, it had been a while since Henry had heard Allison mention Nicholas. He of course thought about him every minute of the day, his little guy, who had been so strong until the last minute.

He'd been a fighter alright, and getting all of it from his mom, Henry had no doubt Elizabeth was going to walk trough that door any second.

* * *

Her mind was drifting somewhere else. Her eyes lifted to see Shiraz standing in front of her.

"Excuse me, Secretary McCord?"

"President Shiraz. I'm glad you're okay."

"I can say the same of you."

They sat down, her head was killing her but she'd tried to keep focus. "Should I assume since you're here that the coup has failed"

 _Yes._

She sighed.

"In part because of the information your government provided. If you hadn't come, we might have assumed the United States backed it."

 _Oh the irony. Here she was trying to stop a war, sitting before him inside a bunker because she believed things could be different and... Here he was blaming her of treason._

"Minister Javani is dead." She was wasting no time on pointing out how all of this had been in vain because her friend had died, and so had Fred and she had just... laid there, looking into that little boy's terrified face and all she could think of was her own children... Her baby girl and her little boy who had looked at her with such a similar gaze. Begging for her help and she'd just hadn't been able to do anything.

"Yes." Shiraz said. "A tragic loss, Zahed was my friend, And partner."

Elizabeth sighed "Mine, too. I'm sorry."

"He respected you." She'd heard him say solemnly.

"I'm speaking on behalf of President Dalton when I say that I hope that our peace talks will move forward." Her words were filled with the most honest of truths, the truth of loss and pain. Of longing and wanting to be there and hold her family as she knew she would.

"I share this hope. But now, I fear there will be too many bodies to bury."

 _And she had not doubt there were still more to be, soon. More sons would lose their fathers and fathers would lose their children._

* * *

Henry couldn't believe his ears when Dalton personally called him to tell him Bess was alive and she was coming home. "Yes, thank you... thank you."

Stevie and Allison turned to their father. "Dad.."

"Mom's fine, she's okay, she's coming home." As he held on Stevie and Allison, his eyes filled with tears as he felt how an enormous weight was lifted off his shoulders.

 _She did come home._

* * *

The idea of walking trough her own front door gave Elizabeth such peace, one she had not allowed herself feel in such a long time. Henry was there, waiting for her, his arms wide open as she hugged her, pulling her into him as if he never wanted to let go. She felt his lips on her and allowed her feelings to take over, as if his lips were the only thing able to enable her to breathe.

The idea of not having Henry kiss her. Of Stevie not wanting to admit how much she was like her or Allison's hugs in the morning, of Jason's free spirited but kind heart, of Hannah's sweetness and innocence made life simply unbearable for her.

She allowed herself to feel everything and nothing as he held her and then putting on a brave face for her kids as they also joined in to welcome her made her feel like she could breathe again.

"Babe?" Henry had caught her wife in Hannah's room later that night. She was staring a a picture he knew she'd taken from their room.

"I thought a lot about Nicholas today." Elizabeth said as she watched her daughter sleep. Henry moved next to her. "Looking at that boy, made me think of him... of how I couldn't help my baby, but I was there for a little boy, that I protected him...But how I could't save Nicholas."

"Babe, don't be like that..." Henry begged her. He knew where this was going, he knew she blamed herself for Nicholas, although secretly he did too, both of them had made their promise of not taking the blame or else they would end up hurting each other more than helping, but secretly, they both felt guilty over what had happened. "You know there wasn't anything..."

"Do you think about him Henry? Because I'd imagine him here...in his room, growing up healthy and happy."

"Of course I do." He said, turning her around so she was facing him. "Everyday..."

The room went quiet, the only sound heard was Hannah's chest as it raised and fell.

"I'm so glad I'm home." Elizabeth buried herself in Henry's chest. "I love you Henry."

"I love you too. Come on let's go to bed."

 _Elizabeth was home. But was all of this over? As he heard her sob herself to sleep in his arms that night, he didn't think so._

* * *

 _ **Huh? Remember guys.. the story is called "No love without Sacrifice... So here's one that has to come full circle... Why do you think Hannah is so important to the story... anyways, I hope you didn't hate it...**_

 _ **Thanks for reading and don't forget to review if you get the chance... again, so sorry for taking forever!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing! Just my love for Hannah and the show!**

 **In honor of the show coming back today I thought it was fit for an update, so sorry for taking forever between chapters but my last semester of college is really taking a toll on me and whenever I want to just sit and write something comes up.. anyhow...**

 **Chapter 9:**

Elizabeth woke up gasping for air. It was dark, probably early morning when she opened her eyes. Henry was beside her as he felt her shift in bed. "Babe?"

"Go back to sleep." She whispered kindly.

"Another nightmare huh?" Henry had been in war. He knew what a experience like that could do to someone. And yes, his wife was the strongest woman he knew but this wasn't something she was ready for her to face, neither did he want her to.

"It´s nothing."

"You really want a tell a Navy Pilot that having nightmares is nothing?" He mused. ""Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart." Elizabeth smiled.

"The alchemist?" She turned to her side so she was facing her husband.

"I've got more from where that came from." He turned all serious again. "Really babe. I just want you to be okay..." She was about to protest when he shushed her. "I know you keep telling me you are but..."

"Then you just have to believe me." She told him. "Please Henry, I just need some time."

* * *

 _"You? Are having two babies?" Isabelle mused. "I can't believe it... I mean, how?"_

 _"Do you really want logistics?" Elizabeth turned to look at Henry who shot her a glance._

 _"Are you okay?" Her friend asked._

 _"Yes, I feel fine, the doctor said it's still early to be able to tell if there's any dangers for me or the babies but she's optimistic."_

 _"Good. And what do the kids think?"_

 _"We still haven't told them there's two babies, an unless Jason wraps his head around the idea, he isn't going to like it. Not at first anyway."_

 _"He'll come around to it." Isabelle told him._

 _"Sure, even more when we tell him he's having a little brother... I hope..." Henry mused._

 _"Affected by the girls huh?"  
_

 _"Hey! It does no harm to dream." Henry smiled._

* * *

"Babe?" It was the second time that week since coming back from Iran that Henry had found Elizabeth in the attic of their home, in the midst of Christmas decorations and old college papers. "What are you doing up here?"

She was curled up in a ball, her back against the wall, in the middle of two boxes. Each one with a twin's name. It had been so long since they had opened either of them...except when Hannah had a show and tell at school a few months back and had wanted to show his classmates how she had a brother who was an angel. Henry had taken care of the ordeal since Elizabeth had been on a trip and they didn't talk about it much, they really didn't anymore.

"Lizzie." Henry crouched down to her level, she held one of Nicholas's baby blankets in her hands as she sank down and cry. It was the middle of the night and here, the kids couldn't hear her, she could indulge in her misery and go back to work as if she was able to conquer the world but in reality her world was crumbling down... just as it had two years ago. "You can''t keep doing this to yourself babe."

She barely looked at him. It was as if he wasn't there. "I couldn't save him..." she gasped as Henry held her.

"Shhh..." Henry kissed her forehead as he tried to keep his feelings in check, but lately that was proving to be really hard. "There wasn't anything you could have done, anyone for that matter, you know that."

"He was my baby Henry, I should have known something was wrong..." She sniffed. "I should have done everything I could to save him."

"And you did..." Henry's lumpy throat hurt and his eyes got watery. "You know you did. And Nicholas knew how much you loved him. How much we all did."

* * *

 _"I see you are not alone today..." Dr. Reynolds mused as she saw Elizabeth and Henry had brought their children along, 8 year old Jason, 11 year old Ally and 15 year old Stevie._

 _"Well we are all excited to find out who's wining what." Elizabeth told her doctor. "All in the spirits of good fun of course."_

 _"Of course." she smiled widely. She got the ultrasound ready. A moment later, the monitor showed both babies, Jason's eyes widened... "_

 _Do they argue in there?" he asked. "It's really tiny...I bet they are kicking each other all the time." Elizabeth smiled._

 _"Not so different from you and your sisters, huh mister?"_

 _"Right, that's why it will be two boys this time..." Jason said in a matter of facty way._

 _" Not so fast Jason. want to know who won the bet?" Jason's eyes lighted up._ _"It appears its a tie."_

 _"Huh? There's more than two babies in there?" Jason asked._

 _"No. It seems you'll be having one of each..."_

 _Elizabeth glanced at Henry. Her eyes were teary as she squeezed his hand._

 _"Everything seems to be going according to plan. but..."_

 _"Is something wrong?" Stevie asked._

 _"No, nothing is, but we do need to be careful as it appears one of the babies is smallest than the other, so we all want them to be able to come full term as premature births with twins is pretty common,_

* * *

"I always did say he looked just like you..." Henry smiled as they both looked down on Nicholas's face, he had blonde hair and deep blue eyes.

"But he was as zen as you were..." Liz told him.

"I am Zen?"

"Yeah. One hundred percent babe."

"Well maybe tat was what helped him too, you know? That he was just so calm all the time." Henry admitted. "Unlike his sister."

"Who would have thought she'd be the one to stay with us huh?"

* * *

 **I know its a bit too short but we are getting close to find out what really happened to that blue eyed little boy. Hint, I recently watched a movie that inspired me to add this twist to the story, hoping you are liking it. Next chapter, Elizabeth's denial hits a new low as she lands herself in the hospital...**

 **I'm hoping to update next week if possible... Saturday or Sunday... until then I hope this keeps you on your toes.**


	10. Chapter 10

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing! Just my love for Hannah and the show!**

 **Chapter 10**

She never pictured herself here, being in this state, not even after she lost Nicholas she thought this job and this way of living would be so consuming she'd lost some of herself. It is in this moment after she's passed out and in a hospital bed that she understood where she was, she was losing herself for sure and she couldn't do that to her children.

"Lizzie?" Henry, she knew it quickly because his hand hasn't left hers, its warm and it wouldn't be like her husband to allow her to feel as if she was alone. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"You can say I told you so, I know you want to." Her mouth felt dry.

"What are you talking about?" He arched an eyebrow.

"You said I wasn't fine, no matter how much I insisted I was..." She told him.

"I..."

"Say it. I need to hear you say it babe." She knew the last thing both of them wanted was to pick a fight, neither of them had the will or the energy to do so. Not after she'd been passed out for the last couple hours and he'd been there by her side.

"I told you so."

* * *

 _"I told you so, pay up." Henry mused at his wife as they walked home hand in hand from work. The latests tests results on the twins had been good and they had finally found out what they were having. Elizabeth insisted on a boy, Henry on a girl, much to Jason's dismay. Both now both of them had been right and they were about to go home and celebrate it. Ally had thought I'd be cute for them to have a little ceremony to celebrate, of course the 11 year old had been haappy to help._

 _"Fine." She giggled as Henry pulled her into a kiss. "Two wins? No one lost?"_

 _"Fine by me." Henry mused._

 _"Good."_

 _She didn't think she'd be here though, 5 months pregnat with twins and still have the will to do almiost everything._

 _"Good morning mom..." While Ally had embraced her role as a big sister and Jason came to terms about not being the baby of the family, Stevie seeemed, well, unimpressed by the expectation of her new siblings, perhaps it was because she understood what being pregnant implied, the fact that her parents were... well you know...Active._

 _"Man, that coffee smells so good. " Elizabeth pointed out. Stevie smiled. "You sure you want to be drinking that?"_

 _"I'm almost 16." She said in a matter of facty way which reminded Elizabeth much of herself. "Plus I have a paper to write."_

 _"Oh, on?" Asked her mother._

 _"War conflicts." Elizabeth suddenly forgot about her craving. "It's nothing really, not like I can express my interest on it anyway."_

 _"Why wouldn't you? "_

 _"They'd expell me if they knew where I really stand." Stevie sighed._

 _"Who's getting expelled?" Came in a bouncing Jason._

 _"No one." Elizabeth glanced at her child._

 _"I might." Her eldest daughter said with a grin, taking a sip of her coffee._

 _"What's up with her?" Henry asked, Ally following closely._

 _"She's conspiring." Elizabeth smiled at him._

 _"Stevie? No..." Henry said suddenly. Earning a laugh from his wife._

* * *

"Mommy!" Her four year old jumped into her arms as soon as she spotted her.

"Easy munchkin.." Henry said warningly. "Mommy's still got quite the headache..."

"How come?" Her sweet and innocent child asked. Henry looked at her wife. "Need a kiss?"

"Of course I do, thats the best medicine ever, isn't it?" Elizabeth cuddled her child closer to her chest as Hannah kissed her cheek. "See? Feel much better already."

"Mom!" Came in Stevie, followed by her siblings. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, just a bit stressed out I guess, I've just haven't been getting enough sleep..."

"Well yeah, Iran is at war, which means by extent we are too, that has to be keeping you and the President going nuts.."

"Jason..." Henry warned.

"Yeah shut up you duffus..." Ally echoed. "They are not at war yet.."

"They might..."

"Okay enough of this, Stevie would you take everyone to the cafeteria, get them some kind of breakfast please?'

"Sure dad, come on you guys..." Stevie reached out to pick up her little sister but she pulled back.

"No!" She piped in, cuddling closer to her mom.

"Baby. you know what?" Elizabeth smiled. "I bet they have muffins and chocolate milk... that sounds good huh?"

"But..." She said with sad eyes.

"I bet mom would love it if you got her one of those?" Jason added in.

Chocolate?" Hananah turned to Elizabeth.

"Chocolate." She agreed.

"I love you mama.." Hannah smiled as Stevie picked her up.

"I love you too baby... so so much, thank you for making me feel so much better." She squeezed her little gir's hand and then turned to her children. "All of you. now get out of her so your dad can tell me off on just how reckless I am.." Jason made some witty comment that made her smile. "Bye..."

* * *

 _"What do you think of Sebastian?" Elizabeth called from bed as Henry washed his face, getting ready for bed. "James?"_

 _"i still like our first choice." Henry told her._

 _"Teddy?" She cringed. "I don't know babe. It's a bit too..."_

 _"Presidential?" Henry smiled. He put his hand on her belly and rubbed slowly. "What's your take on Sarah then?"_

 _"That was our first choice for Ally, I remember..." Elizabeth said with a nostalgic smile. "I always did love that name."_

 _"Me too." Henry smiled. "But I'm up to the idea that we could be surprised and just pick out a name of the ones we've thought of."_

 _"But Sarah's still on the list?" His wife asked._

 _"It's on the list..." He agreed with a sweet kiss to her lips._

* * *

"Madam Secretary?" For a moment she thought Nadine might be calling her name but it was just the doctor.

"Please call me Elizabeth..." She insisted and the young doctor smiled. "And I am much better thank you."

"Very good, Elizabeth, I'm quite glad to hear it, you had us scared there for a bit..." the young doctor smiled at her, then turned to Henry. "I'd like to keep you in tonight for observation, just to make sure we're not missing anything. .."

"No, really I am perfectly fine, I probably just need to go home and rest, staying here isn't necessary..."

"With all due respect m'am, it is quite a big deal , when you have spent quite a few hours unconscious..." This kid couldn't be a few years older than Stevie and yet she couldn't put her finger on it, perhaps he'd found something that wasn't quite right with her.

"Why don't you just take this as a much needed break?" Henry begged her after the doctor excused himself.

"What for?" She asked frustrated. "So you can hoover over me?"

Henry sighed. "You love when I hoover..."

"I just don't like hospitals..." She admitted, Henry understood instantly, how all of this brought up so many painful memories."we've spent too much time in here..."

"I know you don't..." in that moment, their children came back into the room, only to have Henry tell Stevie she was in charge of her siblings for the night.

"Mamma?" Hannah turned around as they stoppedby the door.

"Yes baby?"

"Member when my brother was here all the time and he couldn't come home? " Elizabeth nodded. "Maybe if you tell him a bedtime story, he'll hear you..." Elizabeth glanced over at Henry, his eyes were sparkling but he wouldn't allow himself to cry, she on the other hand was slowly loosing it.

"I'll do just that, sweetie..." She managed to say. Her child just smiled and walked away content.

* * *

" _Remember the last time we did this?" She asked Henry. He remembered alright, it had been almost a decade ago. Elizabeth was sorting out a pile of baby clothes as her husband got busy with the crib. They had just moved the girls into sharing a room as they took on Ally's room to be the nursery._

 _"Yep, I seem to recall we were much younger. " Henry mused as he groaned by the weight of the newly built crib._

 _"I don't know babe, I think you look very handsome being all handy. .." Elizabeth pointed out playfully._

 _"Well you know what they say,nerds can be hot nerds..."_

 _"Did you just say, 'hot nerd'? She giggled._

 _"Would you prefer intelectual?" Henry bantered along as he moved to kiss his very pregnant wife._

 _"What I would like to do is just go to bed..." His wife told him, full of mischief in her voice._

 _"I've got you babe..." Henry smirked."But sadly I have to finish this or our children will have nowhere to sleep..."_

 _"You do know it's still a few months before they come right?" She mused frustrated._

 _"Go, I'll be right up..." Elizabeth kissed Henry again before leaving the room, her seven and a half month pregnant self waddled on her way to the room._

 _It was still about an hour later when Henry made it back to the master bedroom, his wife sleeping soundly across the bed, he smiled to himself as to how adorable she looked. He moved her over to her side with care and kissed her forehead sweetly._

 _"Henry. ..." Came Elizabeth's voice in the middle of the night. It sounded like she was in pain, but he didn't register what was happening right away. "Babe? Wake up..."_

 _"Huh?" He suddenly felt the side of the bed as it got wet. "Lizzie... what?"_

 _"Something is wrong. .." She gasped. "I think my water just broke. .."_

 _It couldn't be possible, it was still to early..._

* * *

 ** _Happy MS Day! I do hope you likea it. ... oh uh the babies are comimg! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with me, don't forget to review if you get the chance :)_**


	11. Chapter 11

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing! Just my love for Hannah and the show!**

 **Chapter 11:**

 _Her babies were here. Both the girl and the boy, first had been Nicholas James McCord. He'd been bigger than his sister and almost seemed as if he hadn't been born at 32 weeks. Elizabeth didn't remember much about the birth because as Henry had told her they had had to perform an emergency C- Section to make sure everyone had a chance of surviving._

 _Then came their little girl. Hannah Catherine McCord. Henry had told his wife the little girl hadn't cried because she had trouble breathing._

 _"Where are them? I want to see them..." Elizabeth begged as soon as she regained consciousness. Henry was there by her side, holding on to her hand, and so was Stevie. Ally and Jason had been sent home with Henry's dad who had made the trip as soon as he heard of the news._

 _"Lizzie." Henry kissed her forehead sweetly. Stevie held on her other hand, tears streaming from the girl's face as she smiled at her. "You need your rest babe..."_

 _"Are they..."_

 _"Hannah is in the NCIU." Henry said softly. "She had some trouble breathing so they took her in to run some tests." Elizabeth's face was full of worry. "Nicholas is in the nursery."_

 _"Is he okay?"_

 _"He's fine." Stevie said. "The doctor said she'd bring him as soon as you woke up." Elizabeth smiled gratefully as she squuezed her child's hand._

 _"There we are." A nurse came in a moment later, carrying what it look to be an incubator. "Elizabeth, how are you feeling?"_

 _"Like I've just had two babies." She huffed._

 _"It sure doesn't look like it." the nurse smiled. Henry reached out for his son as soon as the nurse took him out. "You want and try to feed him?"_

 _"I'm going to go call Ally and Jason to tell them you're awake." Stevie said. "I'll be back."_

 _"Take your time..." Elizabeth smiled as she held on to Nicholas for the first time. He opened his big blue eyes staring right at her. "Hello there mister, you couldn't wait to meet us,huh?"_

* * *

Elizabeth McCord wasn't good at sitting still, she had to be doing something in order for her not to loose her mind, but she had been order at least a week of rest, if not more. In her line of work, 14 days was a long time.

The only good thing about this reinforced vacation time was that she was actually home when the kids came home, Hannah specially as her guys had gone to pick her up. Her detail guy, in charge of his toddler, almost a godsend as she adored him. Thomas opened the door to let the little girl in. Elizabeth was in her computer, suspiciously not working as her little girl came into the living room.

"There she is" Elizabeth voice perked up as soon as she saw Hannah, she dropped her bag and went on to kiss her mother. "How was school munchkin?"

"Okay." She said simply. "Mommy?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"How come we don't have horses anymore?"

"Well, our house in Virginia was bigger, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was a ranch, we had the biggest backyard..." Elizabeth smiled as she gestured it with her arms. "We don't one here..."

"No. You are right, we don't. That's why we don't have horses anymore."

"Oh." Hannah muttered. "I wish we did."

"Me too kiddo, I miss our riding..."

"Ya, me too." Hannah cuddled into her mother as Elizabeth kissed her forehead. Those afternoons riding with her kids were the highlight's in Lizzie's life, in a time were Stevie was yet to leave home and Ally wasn't as mature and Jason loved riding alongside Nicholas on their horse.

Back when her life was yet to become a nightmare. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"When do you have to go back to work?"

"Not in a little while. I'd much rather be here with you..." Elizabeth smiled.

"Cause you still sick?"

"Well, not so much anymore, no... but you know what? I think being here with you makes me feel a whole lot better..." the little girl nodded as her stomach made a brutal sound. "You´re not hungry, are you?"

"A little.." She said shyly.

"Just a little? Thomas, come here for a second..."

"Yes Madam Secretary?"

"Did that sound to you like she was just a little hungry?" Elizabeth winked at the younger man. He smiled softly.

"I wouldn't know, just if I heard it again, maybe I would ma´m..." And just as on cue, the little girl's stomach rumbled once more. "Was that..."

Hannah broke into a laughter fit.

"How about I make the two of us a snack huh?" Elizabeth stood up and carried her child over to the kitchen, placing her on the counter."What would the little lady want?"

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich" She mused.

"One P&J sandwich coming right up..."

And so she made it, and she and Hannah sat in the kitchen, Elizabeth stared at her youngest one, her face full of sadness in a moment.

"What is it honey?" She asked, worried she might as well be chocking or something. "Is it not yummy?" the little girl nodded.

"Nicholas liked the jelly... didn't he?" Oh right in the gut. Ever since she had landed herself in the hospital, Hannah seemed to have been remembering more and more about her twin sibling.

And so had she.

* * *

 _Her babies were a year old. She couldn't believe it had been that long since they had come home. Her blonde, blue eyed boy and her Henry's carbon copied girl. Both of them were now a year old. 12 months since her ordeal at the hospital began, Nicholas had been almost discharged over the next few days while Hannah struggled to gain weight and come off a breathing tube._

 _They sure had come a long way since then._

* * *

 ** _Hello! So sorry for neglecting this a bit but it seems my muse has hit a brick, so I don't think they'll be much of the story left, maybe three more chapters or so!_**

 ** _thanks for supporting! Stay tuned for more, hopefully with Christmas coming I'll have more time to write and finish this the right way._**


	12. Chapter 12

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 ** _Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness._** **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life.**

 **Love, love Madam Secretary and sadly I don't own a thing! Just my love for Hannah and the show!**

 **Chapter 12:**

 _She still remembered the day her baby girl had come home. It wasn´t unusual when it came to twins that one of them struggled while the other seemed to thrive. Hannah had come home a couple months after Nicky. She remained in awe at how she and Henry had managed to keep the ranch, the house, their jobs and the babies all in one piece._

 _"Your brother already knows this place too well Han, but you take a look around.. this is your new home." Henry cooed the small baby, placing her inside the bassinet next to her brother, her matching eyes looked up to him._

 _"How are we doing here?" Elizabeth came into the room._

 _"Settling in like she's always been here." Henry smiled. "Most importantly," Henry moved to his wife's side. "How's mommy doing?"_

 _"Happy that everyone's home. Healthy."_

 _"Yeah." Henry kissed her forehead. "They're both okay."_

 _"Thank you." Bess looked up at him. Henry arched an eyebrow._

 _"What for?"_

 _"For accidentally getting me pregnant." Henry chuckled, if she didn't sound totally serious he would have joked further._

 _"My pleasure babe." They moved to watched the babies as they fell asleep._

 _The two of them, home safe._

She had tried to take it easy at work but who was she kidding? She wasn't able to. Not when they were national threats and bombs and coups and all other unimaginable things happening in the world. Blake, bless his heart tried to make it easier for her even though she hated it. He and Henry had made a silent deal. He would be his work husband. Not a term Blake would dare to use of course, but that was what Henry had called him.

And Blake honestly cared for Elizabeth, Henry knew that much.

He and made it home just in time for dinner. Stevie was making pasta, Ally sat there doing her homework. In the same room as her sister. A few months ago, if that would have been the painted picture Henry himself would have laughed. But today, after the whole coup ordeal, they had agreed they´d help around and try to act more like the sisters they were before Bess had taken the job, or in the least be civil to each other.

"Hey dad." Ally smiled at him.

"Hey Noodle. Want some help?"

"You could stir the salad." Stevie told him with a smile.

"Sureee."Henry smirked. "It's my specialty."

"Daddy!" a small voice squealed as soon as she heard her father. "Jason is being a meanie." She said as a matter of facty.

"She's being a brat." Jason added coming in.

"What's that mean daddy?"

"Not a word your brother should ever call you. Not until at least you're old enough to understand it."

Hannah looked at him confused but decided to let it go. Bess came trough the door in that moment.

"Mommy!" She was quick on her feet, catching Hannah effortlessly. "Did you miss me mommy?"

"Han, she can´t miss us every second of the day, you just saw her this morning." Jason reasoned. Stevie and Ally glanced at Henry.

It they only knew.

"Says who? Of course I miss you guys. You´re my favorite people ever." Bess kissed Hannah's forehead as she moved her to the kitchen table and kissed Jason hello.

He wasn't amused. "Mom, I'm not ten you know?"

"Well I seem to remember you were ten not too long ago." Elizabeth mused.

She remembered it too well.

 _They had decorated the house for Jason's party. He was ten. Not quite a little kid but not too big either. Bess sighed as she handled carrying 14 month old Nicky on her hip. Henry came behind her with Hannah._

 _"Our baby is ten Henry. Can you believe it?" Bess smiled as she watched from the door as Stevie helped carry out the cake._

 _"Well, he isn't quite our baby anymore babe." Henry said kissing her forehead, the twins squeezed between them._

 _"Shut up. I'm going to enjoy the fact he still likes me for a while. His teenage years are quickly approaching._

He'd allowed her to cuddle with him that night. Her son wasn't quite ready to stop being mama's boy. Now she was sure all Jason wanted to do was to be as far away from her as possible or something. And that made her think of Nicky.

Everything made her think of Nicky lately. Especially the anniversary of that thing that had brought their lives tumbling down was quickly approaching.

Maybe that was why she was so all over the place, the coup, and the ghost of what her son's life had being on the last year of his life was looming over her.

"Babe?" Henry brought her back. "You okay?"

"Yes." She quickly said, reaching for Henry. "I'm fine. Just had a sort of… epiphany or something."

"Nicky?" she nodded. "I keep thinking he should be here."

"It's almost October." Henry said soberly. "Almost…"

"October 21." Bess recalled.

 _She'd just finished shopping with the twins. Having five kids and feeding them all was a challenge. Especially when she wasn't much of a cook._

 _"Here we go." She placed Hannah on her car seat. "One down." She turned to grab Nicky. "One to go." As she was strapping Nicky down she noticed he was a little warm. He seemed fine a few hours before though._

 _"Please don't be sick baby, I beg you." She whispered. If she had one sick kid that would mean the other four wouldn't be too far behind._

 _The next day, Nicky was fine and she let it go._

 _It was a rainy Sunday afternoon when Henry came into the room after putting the twins to bed and asked her if she'd seen Nicky's legs, he had a dark bruise in one of them._

That was the first moment she'd realized something was wrong.

The next week they had taken Nicky to the doctors since the bruise wasn't going away.

Elizabeth McCord would never forget what they told her.

 _Cancer._

* * *

 _ **Maybe only two chapters left for this story... Sorry for being horrible and letting it go. My job is being so crazy and I barely have time for recreation. Had been sitting on this chapter for months.**_


	13. Chapter 13

**No Love Without Sacrifice**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.**_ **Elizabeth McCord didn't take things for granted. Especially not when it came to her family and her new job as Secretary of State. But sometimes she felt as if she was dropping the ball in what was meant to be the most important thing her life**

 _ **Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.**_

 _ **Ann Landers**_

 _ **A/N; Yes I know it's been quite a while since I've done anything with this story but today it's my 10th anniversary writing FF (april 7th) so I wanted to do something special and updating seemed the best option, so here's the second to last chapter.**_

 _ **Chapter 13**_

October 21st, Bess woke up like any other morning. She had to get to work early so ahe kept herself busy until tonight. Henry was stil asleep when she got out of the shower.

"Where are you going?" He asked. "It's like 7 am."

"I have a meeting with the French embassador at 9, I don't want to be late."

"How could you possibly be late?" He was more awake now. "Babe?"

"I don't know, I'll cook something," She kissed him quickly as she finished getting dressed.

"Elizabeth..." Henry said warningly. "Slow down for a second and talk to me."

"I really don't want to, not today," He could feel the cold shoulder. "I know you´re just trying to help..."

And with that she was gone.

* * *

She sneaked into Hannah's room quietly, the ghost of Ncky's side of the room was still present as the other side of the room was dark green. She could see the little girl curled up in bed.

"Mommy?"

"Sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you." It was still a good half an hour or so before she had to get up but Hannah was used to wake up before her time.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I've decided what I want to be for Halloween." Hannah declared. "I want to be a pilot."

"A pilot?"

"Nicky liked planes, didn't he?" Elizabeth's heart sank. Yes, Nicky did like them, in fact, he was quite fascinated by them, if he'd grown up, he'd probably ended up being one, just like Henry, Hannah bless her heart, the twins weren't that much alike, not even physically and yet Hannah managed to be so much like her brother sometimes, small gestures or actions he'd do, she did the same.

Last year, she'd been a Jedi instead of Princess Leia because that was what his brother would have worn. "Yes he did sweetie, that's a great idea."

"Are you going to make it, going trick or treating."

"I'm certainly going to try I promise." Ever since taking this job, she'd known better than to keep promises she was probably not going to be able to.

"Okay."

"Wouldn't it be awesome if Daddy lend you his hat?" Bess said suddenly. She did not want to make the day as gloomy as it was for her.

"Yes," Her eyes widened.

"Then, let's go and ask him." She said taking the little girl into her arms.

* * *

As they reached the kitchen, Stevie was sipping her coffee as Jason and Alison argued about something, as always. Henry was nowhere to be found. "Good morning everyone."

"Good morning Mom."

"Hey,"

"Morning." Stevie smiled. "Are you hungry? I could make you something."

"No, sweetie, I'll just have some toast." She admitted."I've got to get going soon."

"Daddy!" Hannah said behind Bess as she spotted Henry.

"Good morning Munchkin'" He smiled.

"Guess what? I'm going to be a pilot for Halloween." Elizabeth shared a knowing glance with him. "Do you have your pilot hat?"

"My..." He began."I might have it somewhere."

"Why a pilot Han? I thought you wanted to be Elsa this year?" Ally asked.

"Nope. A pilot. " She said again.

"Well I guess we won't have to braid her hair so that's a good thing." Stevie laughed.

* * *

They all met for dinner that night. Henry had called Elizabeth a couple times in the day to check on her, Blake had deviated the calls of course, saying she was busy. So he limited to text her.

No better answer.

" _We'll talk tonight. " She had said. "I promise."_

He could live with that, for now.

Dinner went okay, they didn't say anything about Nicky although they were meant to be reminiscent about the ltitle but precious time they had with him.

 _"We'll begin treatment right away." Dr. Pierce said. She was kind and confident of the outcome. "I want to see how he reacts to the drug first."_

That had been months before they had lost him. Months. He had barely made it to his second birthday.

Now October 21st wasn't the day they had lost him, but the day they began to. The day the ordeal began for all. .

Even Hannah, she had been a marrow match for Nicky. Test and hospitals stays later things began to improve. All seemed to indicate that the bitterness for the disease had made a way for some light.

But it didn't.

They walked hand in hand into the cold. Bess held on to Henry as they walked. Stevie held Hannah in her arms.

Henry let go of Elizabeth's hand only to kneel and clean the fallen leaves from the top of the stone. "There you go buddy."

Stevie put her sister down so she could reach for the stone. A blanket in her arms. "So you won't be cold." She said. Henry glanced at her. "Bet the angels gave him one too." Bess touched the small of her back.

Jason was the next one to move, he held one of the scale planes he and Henry had built years before. "So you're always up high in the sky baby bro."

"That's beautiful Jason." Bess sniffed.

"Don't you want to say something Noodle?" Hentry asked.

"No, I think he knows. " She let him hold her close. "Mom?"

"It's been a little while since we were all here sweetheart and I'm sorry for that. Somehow life got in the way."

"More like a county." Countered Jason.

"But we all love you and are always thinking of you. " Stevie smiled.

* * *

 ** _Next chapter is the last one! I hope to have it done next weekend._**


End file.
